expressive writing
 : Birthday Story / Exemplars
task
HIGH RANGE MID RANGE
Ring, Ring... Oh hello you just got a present here young man would you like to come and get it.
One day a boy got a packet of choclet. The boys dog wanted some The boy didn't let the dog have any.
Oh cool a box of chocolate and a birthday card.
The dog was very sad becaus he wanted some choclet but he didn't get any.
Hey! Wheres my chocolate.
When the boy went away the dog tolk all of the choclet. When the boy came back it was gone!
yum, yum ........
The phone started to ring the boy went to get it. It was his mum saying hie. The end
HIGH RANGE MID RANGE
The telephone rang and it was tom's Grandma she said she was going to come around to give tom's Birthday present.
it was Peaters birthday he has some chocelate Just then the phone ring.
The door bell rang and it was Grandma and Grandad they sat down at the table and he opened the present it was chocolate. it was Peates friend he was coming over.
When the dog saw the chocolate he started eating the chocolate when tom wasn't looking.
when Peater got back the choclate was gone Peater cryed the door bell rang it was Jason with a toy cow
When tom terned around he saw that the chocolate was gone then he new the dog had got it because he looked sick.
here you go Peater the cow is magik and right that monemt he stopet [stopped] crying. the end.


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