| Approach: Independent |
Level:
Year 4
and year 8 |
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| Focus:
Imaginative writing. |
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| Resources:
7 pictures. |
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1.3MB |
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Questions/instructions:
In this activity
I want you to choose one picture to write a short story about. It is
to be a story where you use your imagination and your own interesting
ideas. You will have 15 minutes to write. If there are words you can’t
spell, just write them as best you can. The main thing is your story
and using your imagination.
You can choose a picture now. If necessary, more than one person can
use the same picture.
Each student chooses one picture to write about.
Remember, you have 15 minutes. I’ll let you know when you have
5 minutes left for writing. Write a short story using your imagination
and your own interesting ideas.
Allow 15 minutes. Tell students when they have 5 minutes remaining. |
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%
responses
2002 '98 |
| y4
|
y8 |
Interest
and originality:
(impact, humour, ability to capture and hold reader’s
attention)
|
very
high level
|
2
(4) |
25
(29) |
good
level
|
27
(34) |
44
(47) |
some
attempt
|
51
(45) |
27
(20) |
little
or none |
20
(17) |
4
(4) |
| Coherence
of story/plot:
(introduction, characters, conflict,climax, resolution) |
very
well developed and sequenced
|
4
(7) |
24
(31) |
good
development, missing some elements
|
33
(32) |
50
(49) |
limited
development
|
42
(51) |
23
(16) |
not
coherent/developed |
21
(10) |
3
(4) |
Characterisation:
(Is character believable? Is behaviour explained?) |
excellent
|
1
(2) |
16
(18) |
good
|
15
(23) |
37
(44) |
moderate
|
43
(44) |
34
(31) |
poor
|
41
(31) |
13
(7) |
| Following
writing conventions:
(tense correct, person/verb agreement, etc.)
|
always or almost always
|
25
(26) |
47
(57) |
at
least 50% of time
|
58
(62) |
48
(40) |
weak
|
17
(12) |
5
(3) |
| Richness
of vocabulary: |
strong
|
6
(3) |
34
(39) |
moderate
|
56
(64) |
53
(50) |
weak
|
38
(33) |
13
(11) |
Spelling:
|
>
97% correct |
16
(16) |
49
(54) |
90–97%
correct |
26
(33) |
33
(31) |
80–90%
correct |
38
(41) |
16
(14) |
<
80% correct |
20
(10) |
2(1) |
| Total
score: |
11–13
|
1
(2) |
26
(29) |
8–10
|
18
(25) |
33
(42) |
6–7
|
21
(21) |
18
(12) |
3–5
|
37
(37) |
19
(26) |
0–2
|
23
(15) |
4
(3) |
Commentary:
This task shows strong progress between year 4 and year 8. On average,
23 percent more year 8 than year 4 students scored in the highest category
of the six components. For both year 4 and year 8 students, there appeared
to be a small but consistent decline in scores between 1998 and 2002.
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| YEAR
4– HIGH RANGE: |
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PICTURE
6:
One morning Warren sent his son Alex out into the woods to find
some fire wood. Alex wondered and wondered until he came to a clearing.
“Ar,” said Alex, ‘my favourite spot.” Alex
pushed his way trough the trees. “Arr! Alex screamed their
was a tanighifar sitting in the middle. The beast turned its head.
“Hello” said the tanighifar. “What so we have
here” Alex trembled with as the tanighifar approched him.
“Hello” Alex muttered slowly. “My name is Te ra”.
“I come from a far of island”. |
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PICTURE
1:
Life on Mars find
“Sir sir we’ve found something very interisting a big
rock that can glow blue in space.” Said Jim
“Try to crack it open then send it to the lab. We need to
find out waht makes it glow” Said the space commander.
“Yes sir
Later
“Almost done yes I’ve done it! Theres something alive
what is it? What is it doing?AHHHH!!!!!!!!!
“Jim wake up!” Said space commander urgently
“What happened” said Jim
“We heard yours sceam and now the creatre that you found is
locked up. We threatened it with ray guns. “ But the scientists
found out something its a herbivore! That means trere were once
plants on mars or on some other planet.
“How did you find that out. said Jim
“Scientist fed it som grass. said space commander shortly. |
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PICTURE 2:
Once there was a bunch of men who wanted to sail-a-sea. So they
got a boat and headed off to sea. At first the sea was nice and
carm but after a few days the sea got rough. It was so rough that
their boat broke in to lots of pices. Some men dronded [drowned],
some sirvied [survived] but one man got pulled
away from his mates. It was raining and he had no food to drink.
Then some people off an island saw him and carryed him to their
master. he said “what is this”. They didn’t know
but they gave him food and drinks. The man thanked them and never
went on a boat again. |
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YEAR 4– MID RANGE:
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PICTURE 2:
Once there was a bunch of men who wanted to sail-a-sea. So they
got a boat and headed off to sea. At first the sea was nice and
carm but after a few days the sea got rough. It was so rough that
their boat broke in to lots of pices. Some men dronded [drowned],
some sirvied [survived] but one man got pulled
away from his mates. It was raining and he had no food to drink.
Then some people off an island saw him and carryed him to their
master. he said “what is this”. They didn’t know
but they gave him food and drinks. The man thanked them and never
went on a boat again. |
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PICTURE
6:
Ones apona time there lived a boy. He meet this Tanypha. The boy
and the tanypha became frends. The boy meet the Tanyphy evry day.
The boys name was Timy. He loved the Tanypha. They were best of
frends then they cald ever get. Timy hade a ride on the tanypha
evry day and the Tanypha can also fly. The Tanypha had hips of drawring
on him a he wa very big his eis were green his mouth was porpol |
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PICTURE
1:
One day some men set off into space to exsplore. They didn’t
relise they had gone past pluto and planet X they landed on a planet
that was nothing like earth is had alot of different features. It
had trees that were blue and and streams that were black. They got
out and wandered away from their spaceship and ran into a village
with aliens. They thought they should name the planet something
before they went down to the village. They did that and went to
the village the men asked the guards if they could go through the
gate and they asked what planet they were from and they said earth
and the aliens started shooting at them they started running away.
When they got back to the space ship they got some good guns and
started back to the village they spyed on the villigers untill they
thought it was the |
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PICTURE
3:
Once upon a time there lived a lovely girl called Lisa. she was
the prettyiest girl in New Zealand. One day her family was being
mean so she ran away! her favourite flower was called tenie-weed
so she went to a flower place to buy some tenie-weed. She had saved
up her money and took that and she had $55.55c. She spent $5.05
At the flower place and the went to the groserys and brought some
lollies, meat and vegtables. she had to give the lady at the chec-out
$10.50c. Then off she went to a warm place under a tree. She had
brang some blakets and two mattresses and a table which was soooo
light and small along with A teddy bear a lamp and a dovea [duvet].
After seven nights she left her stuff their and went exploring the
land. She found a tree bush thing and walked along a bit more and
found a tenie-weed bush. She picked 18 bunches!!! alot a? Well She
really did like tenie-weed. She heard her family calling her than
she quickly ran away!!! She didn’t want to go with her family
but she and lived happily ever after the END!!!!! |
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| YEAR 8–
HIGH RANGE: |
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PICTURE
4:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful sun princess. Everything
in her world was yellow, gold or other bright colours. One day,
when she was making a dress for her horse, Sun Glow, all the animals
in her village were running towards the golden river. The golden
river was a place of protection, where no one could get hurt. When
the princess got there she saw her father, the sun god (king). He
father told her that he was very sad because his thrown was in danger
of being taken over by his brother the moon god (king). His brother
had always envied him and now he would do anything for his place
as the sun god, he would even kill. The animals had run to the golden
River to compfort the king, the golden river was slowly turning
blue - blue with sadness. When the princess heard this news she
burst into tears, finally when she went home she swore she would
help her father. She made a spell so her horse could fly, she also
made a golden amulet for her father so he would have the power of
the golden river. The horse, sunglow, flew her father to the land
of no return, in the ‘middle’ kingdom. The middle kingdom
was good and evil, it was known as Earth.
The king realised that he had left his daughter unprotected and
flew back. He found her locked in a chamber with a bowl of rice
and all her lovely hair CUT OFF! All her animal friends were with
her, all except sun glow.
The moon god had gone to Earth to capture the sun king or God.
When the sun god got into the chamber, he found his daughter was
dead. He sadly burried her and got his weapons ready.
He would do anything to kill his own brother for the life of his
daughter.
He found his brother standing in the fighting chamber, on the opposite
side of himself. They were staring at each other , what would happen
next? To be continued...
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PICTURE:6:
Last night I dreamt the most spectaculiar dream, that I have dreamt
in years.. the grass was green, the clouds were blue and there I
was riding on the most biggest taniwha I have seen. It’s eyes
were bright green and yellow and its wings were a brown and purple
colour.
As I mounted its back I felt a huge gust of wind flow through my
hair as I left the ground and flew higher and higher, swooping in
and out of the cluds, until It started to sink down and down until
I suddenly felt a wave of heat and a surroundness of pitch blackness
as I got off I smelt a hint of dampness. The place filled with light,
as as I slowly adjusted to the light I saw an amazing sight, and
that was when I realised that I was In a cave. The Taniwha lead
me deeper and deeper in the cave until I came to a pool of what
looked like lava. The Taniwha then lead me around the pool to the
otherside and we then went on to another passage. On and On we went
and then an amazing sight hit my eyes. All around me were jewels
and coins and everything that you could think of that glistened
and as I went to pick up one of the jewels I woke up In a daze. |
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| YEAR 8 –
MID RANGE: |
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PICTURE
2:
There was a boy nameded cambpell he was on ship going from india
to new Zealand. Sundly at night the ship started rocking he was
thinking it must be a storm he looked out side and the swells were
geting bigger and bigger. Then he heard crashing that is when he
got scared then a measage came over a speaker saying please put
youre life Jacket on so he did. By then he was really scared. Then
came another one that seaid Please come out on the deck and hope
on the life Boats then crash the ship started sinking there was
a rush he got pushed over board he landed flat on a door but it
was so cold he could not feel it the the ship dissaperd there were
so many people in the water a wave came up behide him and pushed
him away from evry one then he sore a ship come right at him he
tried to get away where could get on it. then it hit him he was
under it then the was the motor chrunch. He was gone The end |
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PICTURE
3:
Sarah woke up on a Saturday morning. She stretched and got out of
her bed. She wondered what she was going to do today. She wasn’t
sure so she decided to have a look around. She was very close to
the beach so she thought she would enjoy to explore it. She found
all sorts of things, shells, feather and some interesting shaped
rocks. While she was walking back home, she came accross a bush
with the most interestingly beautiful flowers. She thoguht they
would be a perfect gift for her mum. She kneeled down and started
picking some for her to arrange in a bouquet. All of a sudden she
heard someone calling her name. It was her friends. she finished
picking the flower and ran over to them. She had just been there
but she didn’t mind, as the sun was beaming down on her and
she longed for the cool water. They had a great time splashing,
and playing games. It became the end of the day and they decided
to head back home |
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