Do Monsters Clean their Teeth?
Mummy do monsters clean their teeth?
Yes my darling, they do, they do,
With tubes of slime and sludgy goo -
With an old string mop from a rubbish pile
Which gives them a beautiful slimy green smile.

Mummy do monsters wash their hair?
Yes my darling they wash their hair
With baked beans and porridge rubbed in with care;
And to make it look prettily matted and coarse
They rinse it in mayonnaise and horseradish sauce.

Mummy do monsters make their beds?
Yes my darling they do, it's true,
They jump and they bounce till the springs come through -
Then they shovel on half of the compost heap
To give them a beautiful nightmarish sleep.

Mummy do monsters wash their clothes?
Yes my darling they wash them well
In a rubbish tin with an ooky smell;
Then they hang them to dry near a forest fire
And they iron them flat with a tractor tyre.

The Village Blacksmith
Under a spreading chestnut tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.

His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He earns whate'er he can,
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.

Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear his bellows blow;
You can hear him swing his heavy sledge,
With measured beat and slow,
Like a sexton ringing the village bell,
When the evening sun is low.

Seagull
"Seagull, seagull,
Riding high,
What do you see
With your bold bright eye?"

"I see the sun
On a winter morning
Over the edge
Of the broad sea burning.
I see the boats
on the harbour smoking;
I see an engine
With the stoker stoking.

I see the town
And a church with its steeple,
And the pavements full
of hurrying people.

The men and women
And girls and boys
Look far, far smaller
Than painted toys.

I like to glide
On my wings and stare
I like to ride
On the pillowy air;

But if you'll throw me
A crust or two,
I'll come right down
and eat with you."

The Legend of Mt Egmont
Then the massive Ruapehu,
Seething with a rage within him,
Seething with a wrath that choked him.
Looked upon bold Taranaki
Taranaki, who had dared to -
Dared to steal his dear wife from him
Dared to love the sweet Pihanga
Thus in rage looked Ruapehu.

Then with anger quickly mounting,
Mounting higher every moment,
Ruapehu kicked his rival,
Kicked him with a force that drove him
Drove him far away forever.
Thus was Taranaki banished
Banished from that world forever.

And unto the white man came he,
Came he to remain thereafter.
And his name was changed to Egmont,
Now in shrouds of tears he slumbers.
Dreaming of his sweet Pihanga
Weeping all the time in sorrow
Thus sits the banished Taranaki.
But the laughing Ruapehu
Laughs in triumph and in glory,
At the conquest of his rival
Whom he banished in his fury.

The Sea
The sea is a hungry dog,
Giant and grey.
He rolls on the beach all day.
With his clashing teeth and shaggy jaws
Hour upon hour he gnaws
The rumbling, tumbling stones,
And 'Bones, bones, bones, bones!'
The giant sea-dog moans,
Licking his greasy paws.

And when the night wind roars
And the moon rocks the stormy cloud,
He bounds to his feet and snuffs and sniffs,
Shaking his wet sides over the cliffs,
And howls and hollos long and loud.

But on quiet days in May or June,
When even the grasses on the dune
Play no more their reedy tune,
With his head between his paws
He lies on the sandy shores,
So quiet, so quiet, he scarcely snores.

Sand
Sand in your fingernails
Sand between your toes
Sand in your earholes
Sand up your nose!

Sand in your sandwiches
Sand on your bananas
Sand in your bed at night
Sand in your pajamas!

Sand in your sandles
Sand in your hair
Sand in your knickers
Sand everywhere!

Cat
Mum couldn't stand the cat next door -
It dumped chewed corpses on our floor:
Mice and lice and moles and voles,
And other things that live in holes,
And birds and bats and dragon-flies,
And squashy things that have no eyes,
Like worms and slugs and snails - which all
Drove Mum, stark-staring, up the wall.

Now Dad's enticed that cat to stay
With us! He gives it cream each day,
And dace and plaice and hake and steak,
Chicken, minced, and chocolate cake;
And now the cat, all cute and twee,
Sits purring on my mother's knee! -
It takes that other stuff next door
And dumps it on their kitchen floor!