expressive writing
 : My Place
Approach: Independent
52k
Resources: Video showing a wide range of residential housing.
                      Day 1 and 2: pencil (year 4), blue pen (year 8); day 3: dictionary and red pen.
Download the videoclip 1.7meg (requires QuickTime plug-in)

Questions / instructions:
In this activity you are going to plan and write. You will be doing it over three days. Today, after watching a short video, you will have a few minutes to think about what you might write, and to jot down your ideas. On the second day you will have time to write, and on the third day you will have some time to check your work and make any changes that you want. I will give you a booklet for writing in. Each day I will collect it back in, then give it back out the next time you come.
  % responses
y4
y8

DAY 1 INSTRUCTIONS                    5 minutes
Today I want you to plan and think about what you will be writing. We'll start by watching a video which will help you to get started. It shows places that are special to some people, and should help you to start thinking about places that are special to you. Your writing is going to be about your place.
Show video
Remember, your writing is to be about your place — somewhere that is special for you — and it should be true, not make believe. On the first page of your booklet, make a list of some of the ideas that you might write about. But don't start writing the piece today. You have 5 minutes to plan and think about your ideas. Hand out booklet and pencil. Allow 5 minutes.

Vividness: use of language, imagery

extremely rich and vivid
good vivid description
some elements well described
no/very little vivid description

0
5
29
66
4
13
40
43

Relevence: how much on the place

majority
about half
some
very little or none

49
21
15
15
60
20
11
9

Detail:

very detailed and clear
quite detailed
some elements detailed
lack in detail, unclear

3
22
49
26
11
37
35
17
DAY 2 INSTRUCTIONS                  20 minutes
Yesterday you started to think about what you will be writing. It's about a place that is special for you. I'm going to give you your booklets and today you will have time to do your writing. You will have 20 minutes. Try to use all of that time for writing. I will let you know when you have used half of the time, and when you have 5 minutes left. If you don't know how to spell some words you need, try to spell them as best you can without asking me or someone else. Use a pencil / blue pen today. Remember, what you write about should be true, not make-believe.
Hand out student booklet, pencil/pen. Tell students when 10 minutes then 5 minutes remains.

Communicating personal feeling:

very high
quite high
some
very little

2
16
42
40
13
31
34
22

Extent and type of editing Extending (at end):

substantial
slight
none

2
6
92
2
8
90

Inserting (in middle):

substantial
slight
none

0
6
94
2
14
84

Reorganising:

substantial
slight
none

0
0
100
0
2
98
DAY 3 INSTRUCTIONS                   10 minutes
Yesterday you did some writing. Today you can check it and make any changes or improvements that you would like. Only use a RED pen today. Do not use a rubber. If you want, you can also use a dictionary. You have 10 minutes for doing this.
Hand out student booklet, red pen and dictionary. Allow 10 minutes.

Deleting:

substantial
slight
none

0
4
96
1
10
89

Punctuation:

substantial
slight
none

3
29
68
8
48
44

Paragraphing:

substantial
slight
none

0
0
100
1
1
98

Commentary:
 This task, involving three phases spread over three days, was intended to follow recommended teaching practices, as far as time limits allowed. Most students managed a relevant piece of writing, with about 25 percent more year 8 students than year 4 students gaining high scores for vividness, detail and communication of personal feeling. With no teacher feedback, comparatively little editing was done, except for punctuation. Spelling was not marked for this task, but attention to spelling paralleled attention to punctuation.

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